Who needs sleep? (By Dad)

So I'm not nearly so good at writing on this as your mother is, but I wanted to write a little bit so you know what's been up with me. So I'm in school taking (hopefully) my last class that I need for my Master's before I start my thesis. For some reason, I got it in my head that school was over the first week of May, so I've been planning my semester project according to that date. A couple weeks ago I realized that I was way off, and that the end of the semester was actually mid April! I probably should have consulted a calendar at least once before then, but I didn't, and so I was stuck trying to execute a 6 week project plan in about half the time.

I am glad you won't remember this time, because I have barely been around. I feel bad because I bet your mom feels like a single mom some days. Basically, I get up and work until 5ish. Then I get to take a break until after dinner and then I go work on my school project until I go to bed, usually around 2 or 3. Add to that your recent sleeping problems and your mother and I are both sleepwalking through most days.

But remember how I was saying I get a break around 5? That's the best part of my day, because that's when I take you and your mom goes and makes dinner. Seeing you smile and getting to spend some time with you makes everything better, seriously. I know it's totally cheesy and all that, but nothing makes me happier than seeing you smile and hearing you laugh. And the time I get to spend with you, as little as it has been, has been the one constant source of joy for me these last few weeks.

You know, you probably won't believe this, but I used to never worry about anything. Before you and your mother, I just lived this carefree existence where nothing ever really stressed me, but nothing was really important to me either. Then I met your mother and I fell in love with her and I convinced her to marry me, and I found that all of a sudden, I was worried a lot more because now I had someone depending on me. It was stressful, but so much better too, because I had a new found purpose for everything I did. Before your mother, I worked to make money so I could buy video games or whatever, which was nice but ultimately meaningless. But after your mother and I married, work became a labor of love, a sacrifice I could make so that I could provide for her and give her a good life. I love your mom so much, and when she was pregnant with you, I was worried I wouldn't be able to love you as much as I love her. Or that loving you might somehow diminish how much I love her. But I got to tell you, that has not been the case. Ever since you came into our lives, I have just loved everything about you. And your mother, I love even more than before too, because she gave me you. But now I've got a whole new set of worries too. I worry about sending you to college and being a good dad for you. I worry about boys breaking your heart and teaching you good values and making sure I make enough money so your mom can stay home with you. In other words, I worry about you constantly, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I just hope you grow up happy and that you know how much your mother and I both love you.

I suppose I'm rambling, but my point is this. These past few weeks have been incredibly exhausting, but I know that by getting my master's I'll be able to put myself in a better position to provide for you and your mom, and knowing that makes it all a little better. And not only that, but getting to spend the time I do get to spend with you makes me happier and reminds me of all that I am making the sacrifice for. I hope you know that you and your mother are the most important things in my life. The two of you are literally the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I work my butt off every day, and the reason I am happier than I have ever been.

                                                           Your first IU Game.