I can't believe you turning one this week. It's weird because in some ways, I can't believe it's already been a year. The time goes by so fast and I can't believe how quickly you are growing up. But on the other hand, I can't believe it's only been a year. It is hard for me to remember a time when I wasn't your dad. It seems like you have been part of our family forever. This past year has been at times difficult, but it has been the happiest time of my life. I have never known such joy as I have since you were born. And I feel like I have learned so much from you. For example, earlier this year I had this conversation with my friend Josh.
Me: You know it's weird being a parent, it totally changes your perspective on everything. Like you know how you'll hear see stuff on tv about starving kids and all that and before I would be like, "That's so sad" and I'd be down for a few seconds and then move on, but now I start thinking about how sad I would be if Noelle was suffering like that and I get really sad and it really affects me even though it's not my kid.
Josh: That's called empathy.
Me: No but it's like I actually feel sadness for the other kids. I don't just think that it's sad, I feel it, even though it's not my kid.
Josh: What you're describing is empathy.
So apparently, I have become much more empathetic since you were born, but you have changed my life in so many ways. Like I said before I have been so happy since you have been born. There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing the way you light up when you see me or hearing you laugh. Lately, you've learned to give kisses and I love it when you give me kisses even if they are super slobbery sometimes. You took your first steps this past month, but I don't think you realize you can walk yet. But I was so incredibly proud of you when I saw you take those steps, I don't know that I have ever been prouder.
It feels more and more like the whole purpose of my life is to be your dad and your mom's husband. I find myself worrying less and less about myself and more and more about you and your mother and your brother on the way. I love you all so much and I want nothing more than to provide for you all and have you all be happy.
You are such a happy baby. People all the time when we're out talk about what a happy baby you are. I've never been around a baby before so I have nothing to compare it to, but everyone remarks about it so I think it must be true. You are always smiling and laughing and charming people. It makes me so happy to see you so cheerful all the time.
Yesterday, mom was giving you your pre-bedtime snack. It was applesauce. You got tired of it and mom was trying to get you to finish it up, so she gave me a spoon to show you that it was good, and maybe to make you a little bit jealous so you'd finish up. Instead you took the spoon from mom and fed me the applesauce. It was so funny and cute. With mom's help you fed me the rest of your applesauce and you seemed so proud of yourself.
Anyways, I know this has been kind of rambling and all that, but I really am just so proud of you and so happy that you are my daughter. I am excited for your birthday coming up. We are planning on taking you to Sea World so I hope you enjoy it. You really enjoy the zoo so we are thinking you will like this too. Plus I am so excited for you that you are going to get to eat cake! Mmm, chocolate. Hopefully you are not allergic. I'm sure mom will be posting pictures of your birthday up here once we have them. She has been planning things for awhile now so I'm sure everything is going to be awesome, even though you probably won't remember it. Plus we went up to visit your cousins and grandparents in Indiana and Virginia also, so I'm sure she'll post some pictures of that too at some point. She is pretty good about keeping up with this blog thing.
Alright, I feel like that's enough from me. I love you Noelle
