It's a boy...

I've known you for a long time. I've known your name and that you're the tallest of my kids. I know you remind me the most of myself and sometimes that's hard for me and even harder for your siblings. Yet I've never met you and I'm not sure if I ever will. I dream of you Emmett. You're always there with Noelle and Lincoln, even before there was a Noelle and Lincoln. Before I had Noelle I had 2 miscarriages and sometimes I think that was you. Trying to come but never making it. It's silly I know but then again, I also know you. A few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. My first thought was of you. Is it you. Was it you? I still dream of you but when I'm awake I get a feeling that I should start thinking of girl names. I'm pretty sure that this will be my last pregnancy and I have this unreasonable possibly psychotic fear that it's not you. And although I've never met you I worry that I'll feel like I lost you. It's the strangest feeling and I've never felt this way before. My darling Emmett, I know you. I love you. And if I don't meet you in this life I'll surely see you in the next.