I have to admit my biggest turning point was my last birth story. I kind of hated it. And even worse, I hated that I hated it. I remember giving birth to Noelle and feeling strong and capable. I felt exactly how a mother should feel during that time. Think about, you're laying on a table, legs up, vagina out, possibly pooping all over the place and in your mind you're just like, "I'm the shit." And you're not even saying it ironically. It's a pretty rad feeling. And I'm not ashamed to tell y'all that I wanted that feeling again.
I wanted my last memory of giving birth to be a story that I smiled through retelling. Because even though the birthing process is painful the story should be nothing but beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I know that the end result is what matters most. I got to come home with Lincoln, end of story, point blank period, smile smile smile. But, I'm me. And I like a good story.
Every time I thought about having a third child I thought about that birth story. I thought about how I could have a home birth, with candles, and R&B playing in the background. I thought about how I could help deliver the child and pull him/her on to my chest ( too much? My bad). I thought about this perfect experience. And the child too, of course. The siblings all playing together, having two new little chubby cheeks to kiss, blah blah blah. But that all goes with out saying. Or, at least I hope it does. You guys are in therapy aren't you? Anyways, point of the story, having a third child meant a lot of things, including having a new last birth experience.
After we found out we were pregnant, Pops set out to find a midwife to do a home birth. He couldn't find any near by, but to be honest I was a little scared of a home birth anyways. I loved the idea of it, but the reality of not being close to a hospital or even a doctor terrified me. So, we settled on a birth center instead. Which was the perfect place and felt just like being at home.
I started having contractions the week before you arrived. Everyday felt like it could be the day and I was so excited. The only thing is, I had a plan. I didn't want to have to wake the kids up to drive to the center with us or wake up a friend to come stay with them. Therefore, I really wanted you to come before the kids 8:00 bedtime. All day I would be super excited and prompting you to come on already and then around 7:00, I would say a little prayer that you waited until morning. Are you reading this, thinking that I'm certifiable? Cool, me too.
My contractions had been about 7 minutes apart for a while and I really wanted to get them to 5 minutes before I checked into the Birth Center. I decided to meet up with some friends at the mall and walk around to see if I could speed things up. They didn't get closer but they started getting stronger. Like labor strong. It was close to nap time which was perfect. I put Linc and Noelle down for their naps and called the Birth Center to see if I could get checked out. I had a feeling that I would be in labor soon but the contractions weren't consistent. I figured I could drive up to the Birth Center and find out how far along I was. Then come home get my things, maybe go for a walk and head back up there after the kids were up from their nap. Things were working out perfectly!
The midwife checked on us and told me that I was 6 cm and needed to be checked in. I knew that was a possibility. I thought I would be bummed that my plan was going askew but instead I was elated. I was going to meet you. And I didn't cry wolf. It was time! I got to my room about 4:30 and went straight into the water.
I had dreamed of a water birth and the fact the I was actually about to experience it was starting to sink in. I had a plan that I would read magazines and listen to music but since I didn't bring my bag it was just you and me kid. It ended up being exactly what I needed. It had been a long time since I had experienced true silence. Just me. Not thinking about what I needed to do next or being interrupted by tiny voices. I was just there, in the moment. Breathing through every contraction and then just being. Again, it was perfect.
Pops arrived with Noelle and Linc a little after 6. It only took about 30 minutes before they were over it and ready to go. Apparently watching your mom breathing heavily isn't how toddlers like to spend their evenings. Who knew? I told Pops he should just take the kids home and come back after he put them to bed. I was starting to get a little worried as our plan was falling apart. Pops had missed Lincoln's birth and I felt bad that I was making him miss yours as well. But right as we were finalizing our plans my water broke. And right after that I felt the urge to push. It was time and you were coming. You arrived a 6:56 PM. Four whole minutes before our agreed upon deadline. Pops was able to see your first breath. The kids were able to meet you right away and still make it to bed on time. And I got the pleasure of experiencing the most perfect and amazing birth. Seriously kid, you're a stud.
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| Emmett Valor Hall |
