I was trying to think of what to do right now as I wait for the chalkboard wall I'm painting to dry. There are lots of chores to be done; laundry to wash and floors to sweep, all those sorts of things. But I decided I should write to you instead.
Today your Aunt Keisha told me that she is probably getting a divorce. Probably and divorce don't really belong in the same sentence. Unless you're saying something like, " I'm getting a divorce and I'm probably going to move to Paris." What happens after the divorce can be up in the air but the divorce part you should be sure about, ya know?
So, maybe she's divorced right now and you've never met Andre or maybe you see him every Thanksgiving and they're happily married. Which ever is fine with me because I know that whatever deicsion my sister made was best for her and her family.
I've told you before about my amazing ability to quit things at lightning speed and there's part of me that so desperately wants to teach you to do just the opposite. To finish everything you start and to almost have a hatred for quitting. There's a big chance that I made you think quitting and failing are one and the same.
I need to know that you know that it's okay to quit sometimes. That its okay to walk away from situations that aren't good or right for you. That's not failing. In fact it quite the opposite. Being smart enough to know when it's time to give up and being brave enough to do it are such beautiful attributes.
As much as I want you to stick things out and have a never quit spirit, I want you to be happy more. I thought I needed to teach you to never quit but maybe it's more important that I teach you to know if what you're fighting for is worth it. If it'll make your life better. If it'll make you better. There's such a small difference between quitting and choosing yourself. It's so small that often times you're the only person who can tell the difference. I hope you learn the differnce. I hope I was able to distungush the difference while raising you. But mainly I hope whereever you are in life, that you're happy.
I hope you never stayed in a relationship longer than it was healthy too. I once heard a quote that said, " People come into our lives for a reason and a season." It's hard to know when to let a friendship go or when a boyfriend is no longer good for you, but these things must be done. It's even more difficult to realize when you're fighting a losing battle or when giving up and walking away are the best options. Again, these things must be done.
People always say that life is too short to be unhappy. But I say it's too important. Your life and your happiness are too important to waste on things that don't bring you pleasure. So dump that boy that you always fight with and the friend that called you skinny fat. Fail a test just because you'd rather go to a concert than study. ( well a last minute concert. not a concert you've known about for months. that's just poor planning.) Do great things, take big risks, and do what makes you happy.... always.
(written in September 2012)
