While we were getting our pedicures I noticed all of the other Mother's and their young daughters getting pampered together and I tried to think of how my sisters and I celebrated our mom on this day. I was horrified that I couldn't even think of one time that we made the day all about her. Or even a time when we tried our very best to behave or be extra sweet. In our house Mother's Day was a day that you were obligated to give a card and a present and smile and say "I love you." That was it. That was how we showed the woman who gave us life our gratitude. What kind of Monsters were we?!
Now, that my parents our divorced I think it's okay for me to say this. My Dad was not a good Husband to my Mom. And on Mother's Day we followed his lead. We did the bare minimum and went on about our day. Luckily, for us, my Mom was better at her job and she never complained or demanded more. Maybe, it's because she honestly just didn't care. Maybe, a handmade card and an "I love you" was enough. But maybe it wasn't.
I can't shake that nagging thought, that maybe she hated Mother's Day. Maybe it was just a day where she was reminded that her Husband didn't care enough to make the day special and her kids didn't even say "Thank you." One day I'll ask her. When I find the right words so she can answer truthfully and not feel like she's being narcissistic. One day when I'm able to apologize without placing blame. But for now, I can make sure you never have to worry.
I can tell you now, that I appreciated every macaroni necklace and burnt pancake. And if in 10 years Pops follows in the foot steps of my Dad and stops putting in the effort and you follow his lead, know that I get it. Know that I'm not upset and that you and all your future siblings are my present. Know that I could never hate a Holiday that reminds me of the greatest joy I've ever known. But most importantly know that you can never go wrong with a box of chocolates.
